Pilgrim

Pilgrim

So today is the first day of the Pilgrim course at church I'll be attending during lent. As you can see from my snap I was up at sunrise to be able to get there at 8am. Part of me, when the alarm started blaring, thought oh sod it I'll go to the one on Monday evening instead but I got up- and I'm glad I did. Stumbling to the kitchen and making myself a lemsip I looked out the window to see this, a sight that the crappy camera on my phone doesn't do any justice to. I felt a kind of peace and satisfaction being able to see something beautiful like a sunrise and being able to attribute it to God, something quite appropriate for the first day of my discovery course.

I suppose I've got to be careful here not to make any infringements on copyright for Pilgrim so I'll focus more on reaction rather than detailed content. So you know where I'm coming from the reading we studied was 'Jesus Calls the First Disciples' John 1.35-42. As a literature student I went into default mode and underlined words that I thought held significance.

'following' 38

'seeking' 38

'where are you' 38

'stayed with him'39*

I see this passage as something true but also as a metaphor for all our faiths. I'll start with 'following'. At this point Jesus sees the two disciples following him- now while they are literally walking behind him I see 'following' as more of paying close attention, and acting accordingly like follow Jesus today. More important that just the following is that Jesus notices notices this. While many of us can feel like we're praying and going to church with no interactions or 'reward' Jesus knows what we are doing and knows that we are there. It can be disheartening if you've never had a religious experience and others have but I find solace in this passage in that Jesus sees me, and helps me in ways that are perhaps not so obvious when I'm looking out for things like lightening bolts. Those questions you get in the back of your mind, who's to say he hasn't put them there, even your doubts. He asks what the disciples are seeking, getting them to question themselves and their faith. There are some issues in the bible that I struggle with but maybe God wants me to question things so I can grow. We are only human and it is okay to have questions. If we didn't then our faith would be passive, and as we all know passive learning is not overly effective- which my GCSEs are testament to. I want an active relationship with God. While it is tempting on a Sunday morning and just listen to the readings going 'yep, that happened literally, okay I'll do that', that can only produce so much fulfillment. The disciples ask Jesus 'where are you staying?' and then go on to 'stay with him'. In a world in such a state as ours it is sometimes difficult not to ask Jesus where he is. Once we notice or are shown where he is, we too find it much easier to stay with Jesus. We all have doubts at some time or another but seeing Jesus and having reassurance helps us maintain our connection with him.

I think this was a really good choice reading to start off the course. Often these courses give more questions than answers but John 1.34-42 reminds us that we can still hold onto our faith and even strengthen it. I am reassured by this extract that while in the coming weeks I will have questions, it doesn't make me any less committed but can strengthen my understanding.

The inner poet in me must say a little something about the sunrise. 'Red sky at morning, shepherd's warning'. The phrase 'Lamb of God' popped up a couple of times today and I couldn't help but think of the red sunrise this morning. Maybe God was letting me know that I might have to ask myself some difficult questions on the course, or maybe the weather where I live is just rubbish- who knows?

*All references made are from my bible, not the extract in Pilgrim

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (London: HarperCollins, 2002)